If you've spent a BMW worth of money to build your fancy sparkling new iPhone app or Android app expecting for "them to come," I know how you feel.
You're feeling crickets.
Well, you're not alone, 99.63% of all apps in the app market have less than 100 downloads. So how do you become a part of that exclusive 0.37% group? How do you build your userbase? How do you market your iPhone app and Android app?
Have you noticed that if you search Google 10 results at a time clicking through pages, the order and rank position of each result varies greatly compared to just setting your Google preferences to show 200 words at one go? It's true. It does.
To make matters tougher, Google results vary tremendously from country to country, language to language, and even region to region in the same country! So how do you keep track of all this mayhem? Easy. We built you a new Google Rank / Position Checker App. Use it like an addictive habit. Have fun!
So if you've built an iphone app expecting them to come, you're probably hearing crickets chirp. Well, atleast the crickets came. Or maybe they were always there?
In any case, over the last 5 years, these are the strategies and tips that work in marketing your iphone app. Use them. And add your own to http://iphoneappmarketingtips.com ... it's new, refreshing, and contains zero calories!
I've been told that I'm pretty good at writing teasing headlines. Honestly though, everything I know about headlines, I learned from Ogilvy and @woodlandalyssa. There's a precise and unforgiving science to writing a headline that gets you to read the first line of a blog post. But there is an even more precise and unforgivingly rigid set of rules that get your reader to become your client.
One of my favorite blogs post that's prominently findable when you search: Iphone App Developer is making me $57,000 this month alone. It precisely follows the formula below...
Here's the great big magical triune formula to converting your readers into clients:
1) Rapport
2) Credibility
3) Volume
That's it. If you understand exactly what I mean by the above, you don't need to drip another second into reading farther. But if you do, I think you'll be happy you did.
You see, there are only two types of people you ever buy from -- evah:
1) Friends
2) Celebrities
That's it. Why? Because you've built up a rapport with your friends. And celebrities have credibility. And guess what, both have volume. Both occupy a significant volume of space in your life.
All you have to do to turn your blog into a client generating interdimensional space/time portal is to duplicate that triune formula precisely and you'll engender a perception of friendship, celebrity, and relationship volume. This is where it gets tricky. Unless you know the substructural formula to imbibe a linear blog post with a real world friend/celebrity aura, you'll never achieve that magical sauce.
How can the written word be a surrogate for a true friend and Paris Hilton?
To create rapport, credibility, and volume with a blog post, you've got to precisely impliment the following substructural formula:
1) Educate your reader - Credibility Educating your reader builds your credibility since it establishes your subject matter / domain expertise.
2) Defend your reader - Rapport Make it clear that while you have something to sell, you have your prospective client's best interests in mind -- even if it's at the expense of losing their business. The best example of this is the LA based Charter Drug Rehab Centers. Their slogan is, "If you don't get help at Charter, please, get help somewhere!"
One of my early advertising mentors, Bill Oxford used to have a page on his ad agency home page that said, "How to Know If You're Not Our Target Client." On that page, he tried his darnest to NOT get the reader to pick up that phone and ask for an initial consultation. But the criteria he used to try and push people away actually made them want to work with him even more. It's kinda like an old girl friend of mine. She told me that she didn't want to date anyone who didn't have a six pack (true story). Her anti-sales approach made me rise to the occasion (no, this is not a double entendre).
Master The art of the Anti-Sale
3) Get into Google Page One Under Several Intersecting Searches - Volume That blog post above is in Page 1 of google under
and many more. Google creates my volume for me. A prospective client will search for me using several different query terms. If I show up on page one under all of his searches, I've satisfied that 3rd and most elusive requirement - Volume. I'm like Amex -- everywhere they want to be. And yes, this month alone, i got several phone calls for iphone, android and ipad app development projects.
So, if you've got a blog post that satisfies the top two requirements but doesn't pop up on page one of a major traffic key term phrase, contact me at sparkah@gmail. If you do a simple one paragraph blog post linking to my iphone developer blog post... I'll get your blog post to page one of Google under a popular search. Deal?
The public is long-term stupid; short term sage. Beta was much better than VHS. It never took off. Solar power should be everywhere. We still pay for gas. You came up with the most brilliant iPhone and iPad or Android app and if only 10,000 people used it, you could change their lives. But you've got 8 downloads. Eight.
You are trying to market your app to these people. Remember that.
I remember being at a friends house - Marcus. He had 3 brothers - only boys. Whenever their mom baked a cake, there would be a fight. They would each complain that the other got a bigger piece. So Marcus' dad thought up a brilliant solution. He had the eldest boy, Samuel, cut the pie in half. Then he had each boy by birth order cut the pie in half again.
When this fascinating process was over, Samuel would get to pick the first piece, and Marcus would pick the second piece, etc... on down the line.
Everyone got an Even-Steven piece.
Their father was an idiot.
He was sending an implied message to his kids that there is a way to make events in life fair. He was teaching his kids to make their happiness relative to the acquisition of others. In this case, it's not the Joneses - it's their brothers.
There's no entitlement. There's no stipulating what someone else gets and making your happiness contingent on the wealth or unwealth of another.
This is the problem with app development. Entrepreneurs think differently.
Entrepreneurs think that if everyone chipped in a single dollar to buy their silly rubber bracelet that ends up smelling like wet dog on a hot day, they could stop cancer and we could use the billions saved to instead fund clean energy builds.
Entrepreneurs think that if you built an app where everyone just volunteers their favorite flavor of ice cream, then they could buy just that one flavor in bulk and open a nationwide chain of One Flavors Flav Ice Cream Chain that give everyone two scoops for the price of one based on their new economy of scale. It won't work.
For every single action you want your user to take (from the first click through to scrolling down to registering to filling out more profile data), you must offer an immediate and extraordinary payoff for each step.
The public is an idiot.
They will not chip in one review, one rating, one field of personal information even if it meant they could have full access to everyone's chip-ins IF it means that:
A) They have to wait for their pay off
B) Somebody else will get rich in the process.
OK. So "A," the public is all about instant gratification. They do not till, plant, water, and wait. If you disqualify 401ks, only about 2% of the America Public own stocks of any kind.
The public is an idiot.
And "B," I'm not Christian but Jesus still said it best. "There was a master of a field. The harvest being great, he hired workers at the eleventh hour. After the harvest, he paid them all alike, the worker who had been there for 12 hours and the worker who only worked for the last hour. The worker who worked from the first hour complained angrily to the master of the field. The master said, you evil wicked slave (personally, I think this is a mistranslation. I think he said, "Stupid Idiot") of what business it is to you that I have made another agreement with another worker. You have received what you wanted. Now go your way before even that is lost to you!"
What I'm telling you is that even if your iphone app idea is brilliant and will reduce traffic by 50% making your users' commute to work 40% faster, saving them $200 in gas and $300 in wear and tear every month, if it takes 6 months to see an ROI, they won't use your app. If they can see that you're making millions while they only save $6,000 a year, they won't use your app.
So how do you get someone to use your app? You've got to offer them an immediate dangling carrot. Remember, your market is a stupid idiot. The whole concept of collaboration doesn't work for them. That's why you're the boss and they just want a job. They can't see the big picture so stop trying to open their eyes. I don't know who's the bigger idiot, the voluntarily blind guy or the guy trying to make them see. Instead, appeal to a sensory faculty they already have. They still have 4 other senses.
It's Amazing How Much We Could Accomplish If Nobody Cared Who Got the Credit - Reagan
How to Strategize Your Web or Iphone / IPad / Android App Roll Out Do not expect to have a single user based on the promise of a future dated pay off. It won't work (insert cricket chirping noises).
Google didn't launch until they had already spidered 10 times more websites than Yahoo (more or less). Yahoo tried to get people to submit their urls for inclusion in their directory. Nobody did. Google won.
Facebook started off as a private site that showcased the hottest chicks at Harvard - both of them. Everyone wanted in. Only AFTER everyone got in, their payoff to the stupid idiots changed. Now, Guys from other Ivys could connect and network with Harvard boys.
Only AFTER all the Ivy got in, their payoff to the stupid idiots changed. All the kids who had a mere 4.0 GPA and 1,400 SAT score could network with the IVY boys (oversimplified for clarity). See: Facebook Marketing Strategies
For every single action you want your user to take, you must offer an immediate and extraordinary payoff.
Twitter started off as a site where you could contact all the top writers, editors, PR people, and news media directly without knowing their email address. Only AFTER all the CEOs and Entrepreneurs who could see the value in it joined Twitter, the less stupid and less idiotic masses could see that being able to directly message these powerful people would be valuable. Only after they joined, Oprah realized that Twitter would give her direct access to the public - right down to their text messages.
So as far as your Iphone, Ipad, and Android Phone App goes, what's the first thing you can offer now? What's the most compelling thing you can offer now? Right now? Sex. Yes. Sex. Why do you think Facebook got so big? See: The 9 Irresistible Drivers for Monetizing Your Website Like Facebook
For every single action you want your user to take, you must offer an immediate and extraordinary payoff.
Whether you have an app that lets people carpool, lets people get group travel discounts, lets people trade Gucci dresses, or whatever, if you can subtly imply that they will get laid or paid, they will download and use your app (now, the tricky part is to get them to use your long term and bring their network with them. To discuss how this is done for your specific app, let's talk: call Sparkah at 310 598 1606).
If you want help developing your IPhone App Roll Out Strategy (so that people actually use your app)... Call us at 310 598 1606. Ask for Bob Wan Kim.
I'm the guy that wrote "5 Ways Your IPhone App Developer Can Burn You." I'm also the founder of Sparkah.com, it's the site that shows up on page one of Google under "iphone app developer los angeles."
So I get quite a few phone calls from people who want me to develop their iphone app - from around the world.
What I want you to know is that there's nothing wrong with greed. Greed is good. Without greed... meh, you know the rest.
But the problem is that you, along with most people, are myopically greedy. Think about it. How many iPhone app developers do you know who will work for cash but not for equity? If you were really a tycoon of a greedy bastard of a tycoon, you'd want to pay your bills, have beer money, then have equity on hundreds of iPhone apps.
No?
The wealthiest short Asian dude dry cleaner cashier happens to drive an Escalade (with spinners) because he's not only the cashier, he's the owner
Every, each, and every single iPhone app you develop should be something you wish you had equity in. Look at it this way. Nobody gets rich working per hour or per project. Nobody. The wealthiest dry cleaner cashier short Asian dude happens to drive a Mercedes 500SL because he's not only the cashier, he's the owner. "Ohn-ner." If you don't believe an iPhone app will go big, seriously, don't even take the dev project to pay the rent. The time it takes you to make a grand, you lost the ability to be a part of a million dollar golden goose. Don't take any projects you don't want equity in. The opportunity cost is too great.
You'll make a buck and you'll lose a million.
So here's my dark temptation to you: Join me. Luke, I'm Your Fah-Dar.
No, but seriously. I'm building a simple app. It should only take you a few days to build it. To put my money where my mouth is, I'm offering $500 in cash to pay for beer. But that's not the exciting part that will keep you up at night and make you delete that girl's number who keeps calling. The exciting part is that this app will go global in weeks.
Close you eyes. Now, open them. How else are you going to read the rest of this paragraph? Recall the last dude that came to your house to clean the carpets, mow the lawn, detail the car, drop off a new drum of water, fix the plumbing, what evar. They all carried a clip board and those triplicate pink yellow white tear away invoices.
Do you realize companies spend $35,000 a year on some grumpy fat chick because all the yellow copies have to be entered into Quickbooks? But no. This isn't what's going to make your greedy greedy eyes glaze over in euphoria.
Close your eyes again. Open them. Look at me. Now, at your man. I'm on a horse.
This new app will go global because of the simplest no brainer feature. As soon as you see it, you'll think, "damn." I should have invented Velcro and Post-Its! The poison dart is the auto address fill-in feature. This app will automatically fill in the address for you using iPhone GPS.
No more having some dude from Tennessee tell the plumber, gardener, and roofer that he lives on 2756 Guisseppicalyptusigan Street. Hyannisport, MA.
This tiny little app will be the talk of every contractor's daily burrito break siesta. This tiny app will be the golden child of every owner of every delivery vehicle. This tiny app will make you a pimp daddy - oh. I want you to have 40% ownership in addition to $500 beer money.
If brilliant and you know it, just post a comment below explaining why you think you'd be my perfect partner and ideal next big O.G. Pimp Daddy. And stop clapping. It's embarrassing.
This tiny app will make you a pimp daddy - oh
PS... Why wouldn't some myopically greedy developer take the idea and just build it himself? Simple. I have all the phone numbers of all the editors of every trade journal in this nebula on speed dial - on my cell. If you build it, I can sell it faster than you can say, "2756 Guisseppicalyptusigan Street. Hyannisport, MA" So tell me why you'd be the man. And leave your contact info willya?
Back in the real estate boom days, lots and lots of my Bud Light drinking friends got rich. The went out and got themselves a contractor's license and built homes. He quickly bought corvette ZR-1s (plurl), a yacht, played golf at Torrey Pines, and bought two weird looking cats.
Sam (real name) built houses faster than anyone else in the business. He was my gorgeous green-eyed blond girlfriend's dad. The faster he built a home, the faster the buyer could stop paying rent on their interim housing, the more money he made. His buyers loved him. He loved his money.
Funny thing about it, just beneath the thickness of three coats of paint is where he hijacked his time. He took every shortcut in the book. Then, he wrote the sequel. Wiring wasn't grounded, beams weren't locked in, insulation wasn't installed. None of this really made any practical impact on the active young couples who moved in and used their new San Diego home sparingly.
The people Sam hurt were the elderly who moved into his Las Vegas and LA homes. Their heating and air-conditioning bills skyrocketed. Leaning on a wall made outlets catch fire.
It was also the elderly few who hurt Sam.
Journalists just couldn't turn their back on their stories. Even if a dozen younger couples had complained, it was an elderly woman who commanded attention and started off a landslide of destruction in Sam's life.
Eventually, after lurid tell-all court dates, Sam's divorce from Linda, and his bankruptcy, Every single one of his properties were devalued. So in the end Sam's shortcut mentality even hurt the younger active couples in Del Mar.
IPhone Apps are here to stay I realize that there is a huge rush to stake out your marketshare in the virgin mobile world. And getting that market share fast means money. But just like Sam, if you build your app in a way that saves $1 but creates $100 liability later, you're drinking coffee laced with your own brand of arsenic.
IPhone Apps and Android Apps are here to stay. Get yours out there immediately to capture your early adopter market share. But do it in a way that creates minimal liabilities. Here's what to look out for under the third layer of paint:
1. Programmers Annotations Every experienced and honest programmer places tags in his code that explain what any given lines of code actually do. This way, he can always go back with a "CNTRL-F" keyboard command and rapidly find the sections to modify. This also makes it simple for a new programmer to take over if you part ways. It takes a little bit more time in the first run to create annotations but if you come back with any changes (which we both KNOW you will) the changes will be quick.
Programmer Sam doesn't do this. Sam thinks leaving annotations out or using his own proprietary code will give him job security. This is like your mate asking you to stay married because otherwise that one "video" will hit Facebook. Continued:
Brings up a resonnant concern. Many of you developers wonder if it's worth your time submitting apps to directories. The rule of thumb is that people always flow to the "point of lowest resistance."
What I'm saying is that people will look for what they need in the closest, fastest, easiest place.
"For a tree to flourish, it must plant itself by streams of flowing water." - King Solomon
When Yahoo sucked, the Human Directory Project was that place.
Now that Google rocks, directories don't. I mean seriously, when was the last time you personally went to a directory? I just got a tweet asking me how to raise CTR so, "I can make a lot of money with google adsense." I asked him, "When was the last time you clicked on a Google ad?"
You are a human too. You are not immune to the "point of lowest resistance" rule. If you don't use directories, nobody does. Not CTOs, not IT guys, not your customers. Nobody.
So, go to the point of lowest resistance.
"For a tree to flourish, it must plant itself by streams of flowing water." - Solomon
Next post: how to find your "point of lowest resistance and grow roots." You'll remember this if you RT it. @journik
How to Get Into the News Media and Pull Big Bloggers Like Guy Kawasaki With 
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